Paint Chips

On many occasions in my life, I've been on the receiving end of this question: "Did you eat paint chips as a kid?"

I think it's because I think differently than some and inquire about what others ignore. I'd liken my thought process to a Peter Griffin television tangent.

So, here are my paint chips: the pointless ponderings and useless observations that keep me counting sheep at night.

Thanks for checking in.
— Anthony Trimpe

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Sun Mar 21

Divine Intervention

Lent.

A time where you’re supposed to give up something you really really like so that you show God you can make some sacrifices too. “Hey, keep those nails away from me, man, but I’m giving up Cheetos!”

And, during Lent, a good Catholic boy is supposed to abstain from meat on Fridays. Well, this good Catholic boy doesn’t like fish (not meat?) so I’m reduced to bread, breadsticks, rolls, cheese bread, cheese pizza or macaroni & cheese which usually results in the greater part of my day spent bottom or belly down in the local restroom.

So, I cheat. Yeah, I eat a freakin’ hot dog once in awhile on Fridays while SOME “good, abstaining christian men” eat their fish and salads for lunch and then go bang their secretary while their wives are home with their kids.

No. I will not feel guilty for sneaking a piece of bacon on Friday.

Anyway, this particular Friday I had totally forgotten about Lent anyway. Wasn’t even TRYING to cheat. I had saved a pepperoni and cheese calzone from Giant Eagle in anticipation of my stay-at-home-and-work-lunch. I was pretty excited.

I heat up the pepperoni and cheese calzone. I cut the pepperoni and cheese calzone in half. I begin to bite into the pepperoni and cheese calzone, when I’m greeted with a great surprise—NO PEPPERONI & CHEESE!!!

That’s right. God intervened on that day to remove the pepperoni, as if to say, “Dude, I know you are faithful and typically nice to others, but you gotta lay off the meat for me too.” Just wish he could’ve left the cheese.

C’mon, man. Jesus!

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